How to deal with social anxiety
Social anxiety disorder (SAD) and social phobia are most common in ages 11 -20, but many adults feel that they suffer from this condition too.
Symptoms include fear of interacting with others, including starting or participating in conversations, eating in front of people and attending events. People with this problem often believe they are being judged and watched closely by others, fear being the centre of attention and can have a lot of anxieties around their physical symptoms such as sweating and shaking. As you can imagine, this can really hold sufferers back from living a happy life.
How can SAD be managed, I hear you ask?
Avoid self medicating
Downing a bottle of wine might make your fears go away temporarily, and might even make you the life and soul of the party. But, alcohol is a depressant and has been linked with causing further anxieties, particularly the next day. Limit your use if you are using as a crutch to get you through interactions, it's merely providing a short term band aid solution and will not address the issue in the long run. You are also running the risk of getting blind drunk and embarrassing or hurting yourself.
Stop avoidance behaviours
Much like alcohol, if you avoid people you may temporarily feel better. Unless you have the means to live locked away from people forever, this will simply make future interactions more difficult. If you face your fears, you will hopefully condition yourself to be comfortable to be around others. Even if you make a slight mistake or slip up, it's highly likely that people won't notice nor care, and not allowing yourself to run away may give yourself a sense of control and accomplishment to boot.
Accept your feelings
Anxiety, albeit depending on the situation, is normal and expected. Accept how you feel and focus on how you can control your negative thoughts. Question your thought patterns:
"I will embarrass myself" - What evidence is this based on? Unless you're a mind reader, it's likely your overthinking.
Start conversations
Are you worried you won't know what to say and will be reduced to awkward silence? Prepare a list in advance of possible conversation starters. People love to chat about themselves, so small talk around hobbies and interests, family and work are safe bets. Have you learned something interesting lately? Watched a great show on Netflix? Get talking.
Plan for physical signs
Those physical signs heighten anxiety, and can make the self-conscious feeling even worse but there are a few techniques you can use that will help. Wear black and avoid heavy layers if you anticipate sweating. When it comes to shaking/trembling and the inability to stand still, you can move around the room slowly as if you're wandering around, or find a task to help with such as cleaning up. This will help keep your body and mind occupied.
Social anxiety is horrible, but the good news is you don't need to live with it. If you feel it is impacting your quality of life, it may be best to engage in therapy with a trained professional. Therapies such as cognitive behavioural therapy can teach you how to recognise and manage negative thought patterns.
