Living with a narcissist
It is no surprise to find that narcissists are drawn to the entertainment industry. Reality TV, in particular, is an arena that the typical narcissist with thrive in, according to Psychology Today (2011). As we may watch from a safe distance, disapproving of their egotistical behaviour, it's easy to spot the characteristics and be entertained by their exploits.
But what if the narcissist is a little closer, perhaps as close as your own sofa? Narcissism within relationships is a whole other story as it can have a very damaging affect on the people in your life. The typical pattern consists of the following:
'Love-bombing' - Jumping head first into your relationship, having a profound interest in you, your life, and what makes you happy. They can be quick to commit so moving in or getting engaged can happen soon. You can feel like this is the most amazing relationship you have ever experienced
Slow draw back - Once you are committed and suitably attached, there may be little actions that start to become noticeable. A demonstrable lack of empathy, their needs must come first. This might be the time where you begin to be isolated from friends and family. Your partner may criticize them and discourage you from having contact.
Battlefield - Full blown gaslighting and manipulation. They must always be right and you're wrong. You mustn't question them. There may be lies involved where they emphasize their importance or other's admiration for them. Attachment disorders are also common on their part.
So, how do you manage your relationship?
Only the brave can cope with a narcissist in the long run. The need to be in control, the lack of emotion (compassion and empathy), and the inability to be vulnerable will make this a challenge. If you are to cautiously proceed, then set boundaries and stick to them. Be prepared to accept that they may not apologize or take accountability. Expect that you may never gain emotional intimacy, and be on your guard that the typical narcissist is always looking for the next best thing, including partners.
It is a tough gig because the narcissist won't be open to change, or even acknowledgement of the disorder and because of this, treatment is extremely difficult too. In other words, be ready to accept them how they are, or get out.
If you take the option to leave, be warned that they may resort to love-bombing again in the hope of fooling you into thinking they've changed. If you successfully manage to leave, be prepared that they may lash out emotionally, bad-mouth you to others and make everything seem like it's your fault. The upside is, you're free.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/articles/201107/how-spot-narcissist